Taken from 'In Her Own Special Voice'
written by: P.S. Ferguson
By way of introduction, this is the first poem that came to me for this new project. I wanted to share some of the initial thoughts that settled in my spirit surrounding how it came to be.
A few years back, my mother and I were spending some time with Wendy, working on a presentation for the church. We spent a couple hours together, chatting back and forth. Actually, we were asking questions, and she was searching on her Blissboard for symbols that might actually present the answers she was looking for. Throughout this process, I had been talking to Wendy about worship, about how she thinks God feels, about how she feels in relation to her worship of God.
More about the Bliss Symbol language
Her answer was 'I'm sorry'.
After many 'yes and no' questions trying to get down to the meaning behind her choice, it was clear that she felt that because she could not stand with the congregation, because she could not raise her hands in worship during the singing, because she could not sing.......she felt her worship was less than what God deserved.
It truly was one of the most monumental moments of my life, hitting me very hard. To know Wendy is to know someone who loves God. She loves worship. You can see it in her during every worship service she's ever been in. I just expected that she understood how precious she was to God.
It showed me that we are all the same. We are just simply broken people, coming as we are, however we get there, to the foot of the cross.
This poem, written years after that encounter with Wendy, was written to try to convey that brokenness that Wendy has felt. That insufficiency of her own worship attempts. Half-way through writing it, came the picture of Christ on the cross, also unable to move, to worship, to stand......the Christ who completely understands hands and arms and legs that are not free to do our bidding.
I had hoped that when Wendy, or any others like her, read the Broken poem, they would see Him. And how He understands. And how He was broken too.